The birds are chirping a little more eagerly these days, and it feels so good to see the beginnings of spring breaking through the soil. I have been feeling the drag of winter, and the last week was a hard one for me. I felt a lot of frustration and anger with no apparent reason. I did A LOT of yoga in order to break through it. Yesterday "the funk" lifted, and I felt more myself again. Thank goodness!
Stress is similar to a magician or a ninja. I don't always recognize whats going on until I see the final "pow!" I realize now that my mood of frustration was coming from the build up of lots of little stressors that I wasn't acknowledging and working to remedy. A little awareness goes a long way. I knew I was frustrated, but I couldn't figure out the root? Of course, in the end it wasn't one thing. What I did realize, is that I have some unresolved anger. Who knew (just kidding, I did know)!
Anger can be a difficult emotion to work with and acknowledge. It's not a comfortable place for me to go. I don't like being angry. I actually avoid it with lots of other more "pleasant" emotions. I feel like the more deeply I go into living in the moment, the more anger I have to deal with. I've pushed it down for a lot of years in order to be polite, nice, and do what I thought was pleasing others. The more I work with anger, the more I realize its usually linked to a deeper emotion of sadness, loss of power, self judgement, or resentment. When I close my eyes and feel anger in my body, it's tucked up behind my heart. It rests there restricting my breathing. It's ok though. I welcome it like an old friend, getting to know it, recognizing how it shows up in my life, and noticing what kind of reactions I give it. At times it can be a little overwhelming, that's when I may have to talk with someone else about it (or give someone the bird while driving.....just kidding, again). Bev got to hear a lot about my anger this past week as I analyzed myself aloud, she is a great sister. I truly feel we cannot live life alone, isolated, we have to feel the support of community. We become real through our interactions with others, so thanks Bev.
In the end, I believe that this new level of anger has risen up through the process of changing my diet, exercise, and cultivating a mindful lifestyle. It's changing the way I inhabit my body/mind/heart. I'm purging up all the old crap in order to find more freedom in the present. Old patterns need to change, and it takes awareness to make those changes. Growing isn't always easily, but I would rather reach upward than stay in the same place.
Yoga and walking in the woods has been so wonderful these past few weeks. I cannot even begin to describe the peace and relief I feel during and afterwards. There are definitely times when I do not want to get on the mat, but I do, and I always feel better afterwards. No one can do my yoga for me.
I have to give myself little rewards, and I thought I would share my tasty beverage recipe I've been drinking at the end of the day. Bev and I call it "the milky drink."
In a sauce pan combine the following:
Mug full of Milk, type of your choice (anything except store bought pasteurized milk) options could be coconut milk, almond milk, rice, raw cow/goat etc.
1/2 tsp cardamom
sprinkle or more of cinnamon
1 tsp raw local honey
1 heaping tsp chia seeds
1/2 tsp Ashwaganda
Warm it up on the stove and enjoy
You can get ashwaganda and chia seeds through Mountain Rose Herbs. I warn you, this drink is power packed and YUMMY!
Keep going strong with an heart open! I'm feeling the love today. Blessings to all, Happy Valentines Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment